CHALLENGE: Guess Why These Whirlwind Mansion Photos Irk Me

The Butcher Mansion foyer circa 1985 and today

The foyer in the Jake Butcher mansion is the one room in the house that is in good condition. And yet, both times I was at the house last week, we never went in through the front door - we always used a side door that led into the dated kitchen of a super smelly condominium. 

When you're showing someone a house, you need to go in through the front door. It sets the stage and people decide within seconds if they're going to buy. Bringing someone in through a side door, particularly into a room that assaults the buyer's nostrils the moment they cross the threshold, is not a good idea. It puts buyers on alert and makes them wonder why they're not going through the front.

My guess is, the leaded glass window over the front door would shatter upon something so simple as entering the house and shutting the door behind you. The window bows out - in a way that I guarantee you, is not by design.

Moving on.

Every house should have at least one "wow" factor. And one of these wow factors MUST be seen the moment you walk through the front door. 

Now, you might think the wow factor is the staircase. But you see that door under the staircase? That's actually the front door. You don't see the stairwell until you're in the middle of the hall (and you turn around to see it).

There is another door directly across from the front door at the end of the grand hall. The door is all glass and used to look out to the river and valley below. Now, it looks out to the garage of the house built directly in front of the view. This is the house I call "Spite House". I'm sure the people who live there are perfectly lovely people, but they're blocking my view. And that's a huge no-no in my book.

I used to do real estate photography, staging and marketing. I'd do it again in a heartbeat because I love it. I love it more when I do it for myself, but yeah, I'd do it again for realtors. 

Because of that background, both of the photos shown here bother me. Okay, they don't just bother me, they irk the hell out of me.  Can anyone guess why they bother me? Here's a hint: there are multiple reasons.

Don't let me down, answer the question. Go with your gut. What's wrong with these photos?

Whirlwind Mansion: An Essay

I wrote this essay called "Riches" about the Whirlwind Mansion for a writing class in 1996.

Whirlwind Mansion family room circa 1980s

It was 25,000 square feet of dreams. Perched on a hill to avoid being touched by the trivial problems of the middle-class, stood "my house"; a southern colonial mansion built in the early 1970's by a banker for his wife.

In similar surroundings the house may not have afforded much attention, but this was the Tennessee Valley. This was, for the most part, farm country.

The Fourth of July fireworks were once held at the marina across from my house. Beautiful purples, pinks and golds lit up the sky. How lucky the people who lived there must have been; the fireworks probably much better from their view.

I imagined every view had to be better in my house on the hill. Christmas must have been...