Whirlwind Mansion Back on the Market and Grandma Pearl is Not Getting Laid

Oh boy. I just checked the Knoxville MLS and Jake Butcher's Whirlwind Mansion is back on the market with the same price, believe it or not. Still $1.2 million. Same photos, same write-up.

You have to be kidding me.

My guess is, based on the amount of time passed since I put my offer in, Commercial Bank sent someone in to bleach the most offending areas and clean up the animal feces in the basement. I'm quite certain they didn't remove the sheetrock and look behind those walls. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Are they going to disclose any of this for a future buyer? I certainly hope so.

I'd be a fool to pay $1,200,000 for that house. That's why my offer was not even close to their lofty asking price.

I simply don't understand the thought process for the way the bank is marketing this home. The bottom line is price, condition, location and ongoing maintenance is going to be the death of any deal associated with this house. Buyers aren't stupid. They see the missing columns, they see the crumbling walls, they smell the mold. Whirlwind is not the beauty it once was.

To me, the bank's approach to selling Whirlwind is as ridiculous as me trying to set up my widowed grandma with a UT football player. Sure, I can try to pitch those boys on the fine features Grandma Pearl once flaunted in her youth. But no matter how well I make my pitch, the promise of a tight ass and perky tits no longer applies. What stands before them is a Grandma. And I don't care how much Chanel #5 you throw at a colostomy bag, it's still a colostomy bag. Through all my efforts, Grandma Pearl is not getting laid.

Unless, of course, the boys and I can come to terms on price...

Whirlwind: Why the Butcher Mansion Photo on the Right Irks Me

Yesterday, I wrote about why the photo on the left bothered me and I got pretty riled up as the post went on. I grew up in the real estate business. I got my degree in Business Marketing, got my real estate license in Alaska and spent the majority of my career working for Brokers, Builders and my own real estate endeavors. And I read every business and marketing book I can get my hands on. Real estate is my passion.

I love marketing real estate but I'm not a fan of the real estate profession. Watch any episode of Million Dollar Listing and I promise you, it is a true representation of what goes on behind the scenes.

But enough about that, let's talk about the recent photo of Whirlwind - the photo on the right...

Whirlwind: Here's Why the 80s Photo of the Butcher Mansion Irks Me

Last week I posted a challenge for readers to identify why the above photos of the Butcher Mansion irk me. The post received the highest views of the week so I'm going to give you the answers, starting with the 80s photo.

One of the answers I received was from Rich who pointed out the perspective is off. I agree. The camera angle could be tweaked to get a more compelling shot, but there's so much more happening, or not happening here that really gets to me.

Here's something you may not know: when people go to real estate school, they're not taught marketing. At all. A real estate course is all about law - what you're obligated to disclose, what you should avoid saying, what an easement means to a contract, a description of various water rights, etc. There's not even a hint of how to sell a house in a real estate licensing course. And most courses can be done completely online so there's no classroom interaction where that subject could be brought up. Some Brokers teach marketing, many don't. And forget about photography, I've never seen that taught in a real estate office.

When you're marketing a home, the first thing you have to do is...

Butcher's Whirlwind: Sad, Lonely and Neglected

I always admired the Butcher's Whirlwind estate. At one time it was so beautiful and from a distance, it still is. But up close, it's a different story.

Every column needs repair or replacement. Very costly.

Have you ever walked into a house and just "felt" it? Sometimes a house lacks personality, sometimes it welcomes you with open arms. Sometimes it gives you the creeps. But homes emote, they definitely emote.

I had a house down in Widefield, CO where I used to live with my husband and kids. I loved that house, we had a lot of happy memories there. Unfortunately, we got an assignment out of state and had to put the house on the rental market. When the tenant moved out, it took me months to go back in and prepare the home for a new tenant. The vibe in the house I once loved was now oppressive. It was overwhelmingly depressing, dark and sinister. I learned from neighbors that the cops were at the house just about every weekend. There was a lot of abuse in the home, neglect of a special needs child, alcohol and drug abuse, and I swear to you, long after the tenants moved out, you could still feel it. My mother wouldn't even go past the front room.

With the Widefield house, I opened the windows, ripped out the carpets, painted the walls, played a lot of upbeat music, brought in friends and family for laughter and totally changed the vibe of that house. The first people who came to see it, loved it and signed the lease.

Jake Butcher's Whirlwind has a sad and neglected feel about it. It's lonely. You may think it's weird I believe houses take on personalities but they do, I feel it.

The bar by the pool - doesn't look like a great entertaining space now

Whirlwind had a good 10 year run. Lots of parties, a house full of children, friends, family and entertainment. But that all ended in 1984. And every loan taken out on the property since has resulted in foreclosure. A foreclosure is a stressful event and that stress, sadness and even loneliness imprints on the house.

Commercial bank is asking $1,200,000 for the Jake Butcher Mansion. $1.2 million is crazy! The house is in bad shape, it will take a fortune to restore and a fortune to maintain it. Potential buyers, if there are any, aren't likely to get past that "feeling" of loneliness and neglect.

Thanks to my cousins and their boyfriends, I have several videos of the condition of the property. This is a video from the pool and tennis court area to the front of the house. Initially, I wasn't going to add music but, again, the house spoke to me. It's so sad. More videos to come.

Jake Butcher Mansion: The Ballroom

 

Butcher Mansion ballroom is approximately 1200 sqft

From first glance, the ballroom appears to be in pretty good shape. But what you don't see here in the photos, you'll see in the video currently being uploaded to youtube. There is extensive mold throughout the ballroom as there is throughout the house.


Over the fireplace, on the walls, on the ceilings and most notably on the beams, mold is everywhere and it appears to have been painted over, but is now bleeding through. Merely painting over mold will not make it go away.


There are parquet floors in the ball room and the window you see in the upper photo is the location of the water-damaged, buckled parquet.

The ballroom sits about 2 feet below ground and mulch sits right up against the foundation. I'm not a fan of mulch up against the house because it tends to retain the water. Mulch attracts bugs, termites and invites dry rot. I'm not a fan. I much prefer gravel up against a foundation.

But no matter what your preference, proper drainage is key. And you don't have it with this house. The gutters are clogged, there are saplings growing in the gutters. Trees loom large over the house too close to the gutters and thus requiring constant cleaning. The drains are busted and consequently, you're going to continue to have problems until it's taken care of.

Buckled parquet in Jake Butcher Ballroom

Jake Butcher Mansion: The 2nd Condo Conversion

This is the north wing of the Jake Butcher Mansion. If you're standing at the Marina looking up the hill, if you could see past the house built in front of it, and the trees behind that house, the left side of the Mansion is the north wing.

The north wing was Jake's office. It held the ball room, the conference room, 2 offices, a reception area and Jake's secretary's office. From Jake's private office there was a spiral staircase leading to a second floor which opened to a bedroom and a balcony with a large jacuzzi tub. If you read the book, Whirlwind: The Butcher Banking Scandal by Sandra Lea, there was some scandalous stuff going on in that office suite.

Mmm-hmmm.

Just off the conference room was the helicopter pad. Jake used to fly to Knoxville via helicopter. And the dignitaries the Butcher's would entertain would fly right up to the house. There was also an airstrip closer to the river, but that's gone. There was some gossip flying around about that airstrip, but you'd have to read Sandra Lea's book to learn more.

It's scan-da-louuuus!

This is the condo the realtor had us enter when we went to look at the home. There's a covered porch at this entrance and you can smell the mold and mildew as soon as the door opens. The smell is overwhelming.

The room opens into a breakfast area in a dated kitchen. The appliances are old, the flooring is 6" tile, the backsplash is 4" square tile, the countertops, as I recall, are either a solid surface Corian or formica. There's a florescent light over the sink. Wallpaper galore. And there's really no natural light in the room. It's depressing. Not the kind of place you'd expect friends and family to gather.

Off the kitchen to the right, are 3 bedrooms,

CHALLENGE: Guess Why These Whirlwind Mansion Photos Irk Me

The Butcher Mansion foyer circa 1985 and today

The foyer in the Jake Butcher mansion is the one room in the house that is in good condition. And yet, both times I was at the house last week, we never went in through the front door - we always used a side door that led into the dated kitchen of a super smelly condominium. 

When you're showing someone a house, you need to go in through the front door. It sets the stage and people decide within seconds if they're going to buy. Bringing someone in through a side door, particularly into a room that assaults the buyer's nostrils the moment they cross the threshold, is not a good idea. It puts buyers on alert and makes them wonder why they're not going through the front.

My guess is, the leaded glass window over the front door would shatter upon something so simple as entering the house and shutting the door behind you. The window bows out - in a way that I guarantee you, is not by design.

Moving on.

Every house should have at least one "wow" factor. And one of these wow factors MUST be seen the moment you walk through the front door. 

Now, you might think the wow factor is the staircase. But you see that door under the staircase? That's actually the front door. You don't see the stairwell until you're in the middle of the hall (and you turn around to see it).

There is another door directly across from the front door at the end of the grand hall. The door is all glass and used to look out to the river and valley below. Now, it looks out to the garage of the house built directly in front of the view. This is the house I call "Spite House". I'm sure the people who live there are perfectly lovely people, but they're blocking my view. And that's a huge no-no in my book.

I used to do real estate photography, staging and marketing. I'd do it again in a heartbeat because I love it. I love it more when I do it for myself, but yeah, I'd do it again for realtors. 

Because of that background, both of the photos shown here bother me. Okay, they don't just bother me, they irk the hell out of me.  Can anyone guess why they bother me? Here's a hint: there are multiple reasons.

Don't let me down, answer the question. Go with your gut. What's wrong with these photos?