Oh boy. I just checked the Knoxville MLS and Jake Butcher's Whirlwind Mansion is back on the market with the same price, believe it or not. Still $1.2 million. Same photos, same write-up. You have to be kidding me.
My guess is, based on the amount of time passed since I put my offer in, Commercial Bank sent someone in to bleach the most offending areas and clean up the animal feces in the basement. I'm quite certain they didn't remove the sheetrock and look behind those walls. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
Are they going to disclose any of this for a future buyer? I certainly hope so.
I'd be a fool to pay $1,200,000 for that house. That's why my offer was not even close to their lofty asking price.
I simply don't understand the thought process for the way the bank is marketing this home. The bottom line is price, condition, location and ongoing maintenance is going to be the death of any deal associated with this house. Buyers aren't stupid. They see the missing columns, they see the crumbling walls, they smell the mold. Whirlwind is not the beauty it once was.
To me, the bank's approach to selling Whirlwind is as ridiculous as me trying to set up my widowed grandma with a UT football player. Sure, I can try to pitch those boys on the fine features Grandma Pearl once flaunted in her youth. But no matter how well I make my pitch, the promise of a tight ass and perky tits no longer applies. What stands before them is a Grandma. And I don't care how much Chanel #5 you throw at a colostomy bag, it's still a colostomy bag. Through all my efforts, Grandma Pearl is not getting laid.
Unless, of course, the boys and I can come to terms on price...
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